Let’s get one thing out of the way right off: I was going to win.
Sure, I had used up almost all of my spells for the day and my Wild Shape, and Rance got a few hits in on me, YES, but I was going to win.
See, Carlucci, being the… the… being himself, tried to pawn off the ENTIRE ENCOUNTER WITH LIKE A BILLION DWARVES on ME by having me duel Rance. I can handle it, but the LEAST you could do is start coming up with some kind of plan while I’m occupying their attention. As is typical, I had to do the heavy lifting.
Anyway. Before I could turn the duel around and get a win against this smug dwarf motherfucker, a bunch of OTHER dwarves came rushing in. Darvin pulled me away before I could get a sneak hit in on Rance. I hope he’s dead now. Fuck that guy.
We came to a big hole in the world where we fought, uh, whatshisface. The guy whose dragon we murdered. He tried to kill himself after we blew up his ogres. Because he is a baby.
We secured passage for the refugees through the Dwarven lands. A lot of them had apparently died in the time since we’d been searching for things? I mean… it’s not ideal, but life, death, it’s all part of the world.
Also, Armin died as Alvin tried to heal him. Alvin seemed troubled by it. Poor guy. He really tries hard, that guy.
Anyway, we ended up in a town that used to be the ocean but is now basically bullshit. The government mandates a 40-hour work week because apparently they hate having things and it’s in the middle of the desert. Darvin and I went to talk to the governor and were stonewalled by the desk clerk. I had a chat with him and he claimed to go fishing.
IN THE DESERT
I walked here for, like, a WEEK from the nearest body of water (how does the town get water? There are SO. MANY. QUESTIONS). He says he takes an EIGHT DAY WEEKEND to go fishing in the marshes? It takes three days on horseback to get there? I can literally BECOME a horse and it took me more than three days. And how does he store the fish? Is it just catch and release, like a complete tool? There are so many holes in this story. It just doesn’t make any sense at all.
As you may imagine, the town was besieged by dragons because that’s all the rage these days. Myself, Darvin, Oskar, Arthur, and Theon were all provided with griffons to ride by a Sylvanesti elf woman and we rode away.
OH and there was a Sylvanesti elf woman and she provided us with griffons. She’s pretty and has very pointy ears and I wonder how she feels about Kagonesti and I’d like to just talk with her for a little. I wonder if she’d be impressed by healing magic? I’m one of like three people who can do that these days. Darvin’s a good showman, maybe he’ll help me impress her.